"Ek Gong Kar Sat Gur Prasad, Sat Gur Prasad Ek Gong Kar," has been pulsating in my heart since the first meditation of the Spirit Junkie Master Class in New York City. Tears rolled down my face as the music by Jai Jagdeesh vibrated in the auditorium. The Manta means, "There is one Creator of all creation. All is a blessing of the one creator. This realization comes through Guru's grace." I am playing it now as I write my thoughts and emotions from one of the most special weekends of my life.
Wow, what a freaking energetically awesome weekend with some loving spirit connected Angels at Gabby Bernstein's Spirit Junkie Master Class in New York City. Honestly, I wasn't aware of who Gabby Bernstein was until I took the Hay House writer's online course in February. I was instantly drawn to her. I read Spirit Junkie immediately. I followed her on social media and watched all her Facebook live chats. I was a fan. I could resonate with her because she was real, vulnerable and beautifully imperfect. I signed up for her Spirit Junkie Masterclass and just knew I was doing the right thing for me.
The first day of the class, I was nervous. I can be a bit of an introvert around people I have never met. What is so great about this course is you are invited to join the Spirit Junkie Masterclass Facebook group before and get to know everyone. I had 15 new Facebook friend requests, a few women's numbers and a plan to meet some fellow Spirit Junkie's before class even started. I wasn't alone. I found a new spirit tribe. Some of these fellow Spirit Junkie's will be life long friends.
As I was sitting in the front row listening to the magical song by Jai Jagdeesh on the first night, I knew I was held, loved and protected. Not, just by Gabby, but by 300 other like minded individuals. I was safe. Gabby killed it with her inspiring and vulnerable opening talk setting the pace for what was going to be a transformational experience where many miracles will unfold. I went back to my hotel that night flying high and ready to bust through some blocks on day two.
"Even in my darkest moments, I am determined to see." -Gabby Bernstein
Day two Gabby came out ready to dance! She pumped up Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger," song getting us prepared to face our fears of what has been holding us back from being who we were born to be. One of the lines in the song is, "What doesn't kill makes you stronger, stand a little taller, just me, myself and I." Such a perfect anthem for what was about to happen. We wrote and shared our fear based stories with each other in such a sacred and loving space allowing us to begin to heal and turn it over to our Higher Power.
My Freedom Statement:
"Releasing fear gives me the freedom to let go of control. By doing so, I can breathe, be honest and vulnerable."
And that I did. I raised my hand later in the day as we were talking about different types of healing Kundalini meditations. I was in the front row again and felt deeply connected to Gabby after a story she shared that morning. I had been crying all day long giving up the need to look perfect in the front row letting the tears fall as they needed too with makeup smeared. I was in it. Gabby called on me. I was shaking and nervous because what I was about to share I hadn't shared with very many people and just started to do recovery work around it. I don't remember exactly want I said, but I remembered how I felt. Liberated, released, and received after I shared about a deep childhood trauma I survived. (There will be a chapter in my memoir where I reveal the story of my deep wounded trauma.)
We had been discussing different types of meditations, and there was a meditation about releasing childhood anger, but I so needed to get angry! My therapist tells me to heal and relieve my anxiety I need to get angry about the situation and my perpetrator. I shared about this trauma and my inability to get angry, with Gabby and my new loving spirit tribe like I have never shared it before. I was terrified and filled with relief at the same time. I was energized and exhausted at my courage and strength to be vulnerable. When I first started my recovery in Alanon and I would share with the group, I would leave before the meeting ended so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone after. This time, I faced my friends and was received with love, validation, support, hugs and resonation. For the first time, I didn't feel ashamed. Gabby listened intently to my story, offering me encouragement, love, and validation that I wasn't alone and that I was going to help so many other survivors by sharing my story. And all the women who came up to me after, thank you. You helped me to see that even though I have had trauma after trauma, I can deeply and completely accept myself.
I went back to my hotel that night with so many radical emotions going through my heart that I just sat in the stillness and felt my feelings. Something, that I haven't been able to do very well in the past.
Day three was more about business. I sat further back in the auditorium this day just to soak it all in. We discussed how to run a spiritually based business and how to market our message. The most common fear among spiritually based business owner's Gabby discussed was the fear around money and earning money. Something that spoke to me in this session was the notion that there is not enough to go around. How can I make a living with my spiritual craft, when there are so many of us? Please trust that there is not enough of us lightworkers to create the light the world needs today. So shine bright, my friends. Get started today, if you haven't already.
I couldn't get enough of Gabby's Best Business Practices! She outlined the ones she lives by that will be impactful to growing the life purpose I am most passionate about. The ones that spoke to me were:
*Be Authentic. Speak your truth. No one can tell your story the way you can. Authenticity is inspiring to me. I resonate with people that are the real deal, don't you?
*Be right where you are now. Am I making millions of dollars writing books and giving angel card readings? No, but I am so grateful for the angel card readings I give and the opportunity to put my story to paper. I am right where I need to be. There is a saying, "Slow and steady wins the race." Enjoy the process; the reward is in the journey.
At the end of the day, we had to think about our Sacred Contract. For Gabby, this is a reflection and commitment to empowering next steps. I read my Sacred Contract to my therapist today. I couldn't get out but a few words before I cried....and stopped breathing. :)
I will share a bit of my Sacred Contract here:
Today, I commit to apply this new principle in my practice:
There is nothing more valuable than my life cred.
Today, I will commit to this spiritual action in my life:
Positive thoughts only when sharing my story and knowing and believing I am serving others even though I am still healing.
The end of the day it was a blessing to meet Gabby and thank her for providing such a safe and sacred space for sharing my story. She hugged me tightly, or maybe it was me squeezing her. At that moment, I knew we would be forever connected.
I appreciate all the excitement you had for me while I was going through the Spirit Junkie Masterclass. I could feel your positive vibes transcending my way. I am so grateful for you guys. Thank you. I will be attending Spirit Junkie Masterclass Level 2 in November. My angels couldn't have teed that up more magically!