When a psychic tells you that your life is about to come to a head and you will see the light, the thoughts in your mind can go crazy pretty quickly. What exactly did she mean by "come to a head?" I certainly had some unresolved childhood trauma issues to address, but I was working on it. "You will see the light," echoed in my soul for days. I am a spiritual person; I knew all about the light. Did I walk towards it always? No, but I was well on my way, as per the psychic.
A month before this woo woo encounter with my psychic, I had picked up my first deck of Doreen Virtue Angel Cards at my local bookstore. I didn't know then what guided me to look at this deck of angel cards. Maybe the shiny purple box? I shuffled and pulled the "Shower of Abundance" card. It completely resonated with me as I was currently filing for bankruptcy to get out of a bad financial decision I made in my 20's to support my Mom. The card confirmed that my financial concerns were in the hands of my angels and I needn't worry. The energy that brought me to that deck of angel cards was divinely inspired. That is crystal clear. I bought these angel cards immediately and haven't been able to put them down since. I am now a certified Doreen Virtue Angel Card Reader™ and Angel Intuitive® and help people all over the world with messages from their angels.
My visit to the psychic was more about getting a confirmation from her that I could truly see angels and could communicate with them. What better person to validate this for me than someone who can do the same? She not only validated it for me, but she rocked my world and brought me to my knees for what I now call my first spiritual awakening.
About three weeks after my psychic encounter I went to the beach with my Mom in Malibu, when she was visiting from Arizona. As I was walking down the long stairway to the beach, I was completely focused on my Mom getting down safely. I always took care of her. We made it almost to the bottom when I set down all the beach bags and my adorable Shih Tzu, Chester. I looked out at the sparkling waters where the light from the sun shined like glitter on the waves, and I took a deep breath. It was magical. I picked up the bags again and told my Mother to go in front of me so I could keep my eye on her in case she fell. I was so concerned with her safety that when I took my next step, I slipped on the wooden board covered in sand and came crashing down. The pain permeated from my feet to my back. I had no idea what I had done, but I was screaming and crying.
"Tara, what did you do? Are you okay?" My Mom was so freaked out. Chester was even more frazzled to see his mommy in this state.
"I don't know; I can't tell," my body was in so much trauma that I couldn't tell what was up, or in my case, down. My right leg was bent backward under my back, and soon I knew the source of my pain. I see now that this is what the psychic meant when things were going to come to a head. I soon found out that I broke my ankle pretty severely in three spots after I had been rushed to the emergency room. There was only one other couple on the beach, the woman's name was Angela, which means messenger of God in Latin. Angela drove my Mom home with Chester in my car while I went to the ER in an ambulance. This couple lived one town away from me and made a last minute decision to come to this beach instead of Manhatten Beach. On the drive home, Angela asked my Mom, "Do you believe in Angels?" When my Mom shared this with me later, I got chills. I still get the chills remembering back. Angela helped me to see the light by shining her light. There was no question in her mind to be of service to my Mom and me. She was an angel. In the ambulance ride to the ER was the first time I saw angelic beings in my third eye chakra. I saw blue and green lights and heard a whisper, "breathe Tara; you will be okay." Those blue and green lights where Archangel Micheal, the angel of protection and Archangel Raphael, the angel of healing. Looking back this was a spiritual awakening.
I was horrible to my Mom on the beach that day. I love my Mom with all my heart, but some of my childhood trauma stemmed from her alcoholism. I was always her caretaker, and my emotions often matched hers. I did not know how to feel my own feelings. I did whatever she wanted me to. Even though my Mom has been sober for over ten years, all of my anger and resentments boiled out of me that day on the beach and the days to follow.
"Do something!! Why don't you be the parent for once in your life??" I was hurtful and rude. My words cut. I am crying as I am typing this because I was just so mean to her. I made my Mom feel helpless and worthless. Even though she did her best to help me, I did not accept it. It wasn't good enough. My rage continued when I got home. "Get out of my house! I will figure out how to get to the surgery and take care of Chester by myself. I don't need you, I never did! I always took care of everything for you!" I slammed my bedroom door a few times abusing her verbally with my hateful words. This behavior was not me; it was so out of my character. This outburst was years and years of resentment that all came to a head in this horrible accident on the beach.
Finally, I let my Mom in my room, and she grabbed my hand in hers. She said, "Tara, I am your Mother. I love you. I want to help you. I am sorry you felt that way." Her words broke me. It is breaking me now as I type it. She did the best she could all those years raising four kids on her own. She loved us. I know she did, even when she was active in her alcoholism. I have compassion for my Mom today. I wished I had compassion for her back then. That compassion brought me to forgiveness.
In this moment, I knew I saw the light. I owed my Mom an apology, and I needed to forgive her at the same time. Since the accident, I have been emersed in self-help books, particularly about the chakras. One thing that I didn't mention was that the psychic said my root chakra was out of balance. The root chakra is the base chakra that is responsible for your sense of safety and security in the world. This chakra grounds you to the stability in your life and has more to do with your feelings of safety as a child than as a adult. (Root chakra facts from www.chopra.com) In my childhood, I didn't feel safe, and I lacked stability. When your root chakra is out of balance, it can affect your feet, ankles, and back. I have had back issues since my twenties, I broke my ankle in 2014 and had multiple surgeries on my toes in 2015 and 2016.
Since this accident in September 2014, my life has transformed. My relationship with my Mother has never been better. I apologized to her a few months after the accident giving her a stone that had the word, "grace" on it. She handled everything in my spiritual awakening with grace. My feet are on the mend because of all the work I have done on my soul with the help of my angels. I see now that I was never alone. I now rely on a power greater than myself, my higher power. I saw the light. I am the light. I came to believe.
"If you knew who walked beside you on the path that you have chosen, fear would be impossible."