When I was asked to write a guest blog for my Spirit Junkie sister, Krysten Lindsay Hager, specifically a letter to my little girl, I thought, "Oh wow what would I tell her?" Then so many things flooded my mind and heart that I so wish someone told me when I was younger. It made me think about what I would tell my niece. She is seven now, such a precious age when a little girl is coming into her own person. This is also the time when a child can be so influenced to be who her parents want her to be or who the world tells her she should be. One of my favorite quotes is, "Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?" by Charles Bukowski. So here goes, my letter to my younger self.
Dear Sweet Tara,
Girl, if you want to wear your clothes inside out and backward, go with your bad ass self. Don't let other people tell you that you can't. Also, if you accidentally spill food on your clothes, who cares? Don't *Not* wear white because you are terrified to get it dirty. (This is funny today because this old limiting belief is what kept me from becoming a Kundalini Yoga Teacher for so long because I was scared to wear white because I was messy. So silly.)
What do you like to do? What do you have so much fun doing that the time goes by without you even noticing it? Do that. Life is too short to do things that make other people happy. It's your life, live it your way.
It's okay if you are not the smartest in school and you don't make those honors classes that your friends are in. It doesn't make you any less than. There are plenty of people who have done big things in their life who weren't in honors English and math. (Like me! I wrote a freaking book, I am a published author, and I struggled in English.) The important thing is you do the work. You do the best you can. And, that you have fun in school and not be so busy with your nose in a book that you miss life happening right in front of you.
Speak up. When you know in your gut that something isn't right, speak up! Don't be scared. Trust that intuition that God gave you, that inner knowing that will guide you for the rest of your life. It is never wrong. Please, tell someone. And if that person won't listen, tell someone else. Your voice matters. (This last bit brought me to tears.)
Also, as a young girl going through puberty, I had no idea what was happening to me. I was so embarrassed to ask any questions or talk to my Mom. This shame made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. This not knowing why all these changes were happening to my body made me incredibly insecure as a young girl, especially because I developed so young. Talk to your Mom. Or your big sister if you have one. Make them explain to you how beautiful it is to become a woman. It is nothing to be embarrassed or shameful about.
Go to college and pay for as much of it you can, yourself. You will appreciate it more. Work hard and make friends. The friends you make in college will last your lifetime. And, if you can, go away to college. (Because I had to make this college thing work under my minimal tight budget I wasn't able to go far, but going to school a state away provided me so many more experiences if I would have stayed in my hometown.)
Lastly, be you. You are a gorgeous light, inside and out. Don't try to conform to everyone else. Don't do what everyone else is doing. Do what moves you. One's authenticity is so vital today. If you can't shine in your radiance, if your Aura can't glow the way it wants to, what is the point of this life? (That last line is on page 191 of my spiritual memoir, Came to Believe, A Journey of Trust, Faith and Perseverance.)
You are lovable, and you are worthy of anything that you want. Just go for it. You can do it.