Have you ever been misdiagnosed? It is a total mindf*$k. In my case, I am being told my misdiagnosis is a good thing. I am holding hope in that.
As you remember reading in my last blog....I wrote about my frustration and depression over chronic pain in my feet. I had Morton's Neuroma removal surgery in February 2018 after already having multiple hammertoe surgeries. Since that surgery the debilitating pain has been worse than ever.
Good thing: I am feeling better and less depressed. Not so good thing: I am most likely having surgery (for the final time) on both feet. More good things: I was misdiagnosed of having "Stump Neuroma's" after the neuroma surgery. Stump Neuromas can form after Morton's Neuroma surgery in some patients. All the symptoms I was having pointed at a diagnosis of Stump Neuroma's; stabbing pain, an electrifying current that felt my flesh was being eaten on the inside, radiating pain, throbbing, and dead weight suffocating my feet. The pain I felt was worse than before the neuromas were removed. I tried steroid shots, shockwave therapy, acupuncture, fascia tissue release, essential oils, CBD oil, massage, custom-made orthotics, crystal therapy, Himalayan salt lamp foot massager, reiki and just recently cryotherapy to freeze the neuromas.....the neuromas I did not even have.
I went to see a new doctor, the eighth podiatrist/orthopedic surgeon I have seen. This one specialized in reconstructive foot stuff, and his reviews were incredible. He ordered a MRI; it seemed like the logical thing to do. I hadn't had one since the surgery in February. The podiatrist I saw who did they cryotherapy when I mentioned getting another MRI said that they try not to use MRI's to diagnose things. Hmmmmm. I had the MRI on Friday last week early in the morning. After the MRI I took a drive to The Pacific Palisades. When I drove up, I had a little talk with my angels. You all know the beach is my happy place. My feet feel loved walking in the ocean water on the healing sand that grounds me like no other. I asked my angels to please let me find one sand dollar as a sign that this new doctor was going to fix me. As a little girl, I always wanted to find a sand dollar. I found broken pieces of one in the past, but never a full beautiful sand dollar.
The beach was a long walk to the ocean water. My feet hurt digging through the long waves of sand to the ocean. When I finally got there, I took a deep breath and said, "Angels, show me what you got!" There was no one else on the beach, it was a weekday and super early. I looked down. I found a sand dollar! I smiled so big!! I felt like that little Pisces girl visiting the beach hoping to find a magical sand dollar and my hope came true! I picked it up and looked at all the beautiful details in it. I kept walking. I found another and another. This beach was covered in sand dollars and shells! Legend says sand dollars are coins of the mermaids who accidentally dropped them. They eventually wash up to the beach sands.
Some symbolic meaning of the sand dollar is given below… from www.auntyflo.com
The sand dollar shows as a spirit guide when… from www.auntyflo.com
We are caught in a decision.
We need an inspiration.
We need to protect ourselves.
We have a weak mentality.
We need to understand the value of teamwork.
Call on the sand dollar as a spirit guide when… from www.auntyflo.com
You need to make a decision right away.
You feel you are losing the reason to go on.
You feel like your safety is in jeopardy.
You wish to strengthen your mental capacity.
Everything seems to be disconnected in a team.
I collected about 25 sand dollars and walked back to my car in awe of the miracles my angels gave me. I saw these sand dollars as a sign. Everything I said above about the significance of sand dollars was true for me.
After my beach trip, I went to see my doctor. We took a look at the MRI. It turns out I do not have Stump Neuromas. I have massive amounts of scar tissue in both feet suffocating my nerves, muscles, and bones like a monster. I said to the doctor, "I am not sure what I expected to hear from you today, but I feel really upset!" I felt I wasted the last five months treating something I didn't have. He assured me that it was not my previous doctor's fault. That my symptoms could easily be mistaken and most doctors do not order another MRI right after surgery. I really didn't know what to think, but I told my doctor my sand dollar story. He said as I left, "give me some time to review the MRI and meet with some colleagues and the radiologist at the hospital. If I can fix it promise to give me one of those sand dollars when its over." I said, "deal."
I decided to spend a month in physical therapy before surgery to work on the tissue before rushing into surgery. As we all know, scar tissue creates more scar tissue. If physical therapy doesn't work, I am having surgery again....on both feet. One at a time. He is going to be able to inject something in my feet during surgery to prevent scar tissue build up. I am going to follow up with physical therapy afterward to work on the Fascia tissue and normal tissue to avoid scar tissue from coming back.
So... that is the update! Big love to all of you. Thank you for all your kind words and support.