You all know I have been manifesting the f' out of many things in my life, but something, in particular, I thought my manifesting powers were going to hit the jackpot. I wrote my intentions...everywhere. I mean everywhere. I even had my intention in my contact on my iPhone. Siri, in a British Male accent would refer to me as a "Hay House Author." I just knew it was going to happen. So many people shared with me, "I can feel it in my bones, you are going to win that contract." I believed it too; I truly thought when I woke up on Tuesday 2.28.17, when they announced the winners that I would be a Hay House author.
I didn't win. And my heart died the moment I read the email, and I didn't find my name there. I made the mistake of looking at my iPhone to read the email in between clients. I had to quickly bring my heart out of my stomach and back where it belonged. When I had finished with that last client, I had a moment to process what just had happened.
At first, I felt like I was disappointing everyone who had supported me through this whole journey. Mainly all of you. Then I thought, "why didn't Hay House like me?" Those old beliefs of not being good enough came back to the surface. Then I became upset because damn, I worked my ass off building my platform, writing half the book and putting my heart and soul into my book proposal. Then, I closed my eyes. A little tear fell out. Miraculous thoughts started to flood to my brain. Gratitude came over me, and after a little bit I no longer was disappointed or upset, I began to see it as I have heard Gabby Bernstein say, "obstacles are detours in the right direction."
My life has been transformed since I started this process of taking the Hay House Writers Course. I was introduced to new Spiritual teachers and through one of these spiritual teachers found my tribe, my Spirit Junkie family. I started A Course in Miraclesafter listening to Marianne Williamson in the writers class. I began blogging, testing my writing skills out on the public. I even got publish by Soul & Spirit Magazine. I went to town building my Social Media presence. I met beautiful lightworkers that have become some of my best friends and spiritual running buddies.
I found through building my platform that, "Hey, I really like Social Media, and I am actually good at it!" People started to gravitate to my pages, and they began to believe in me when I may not of believed in myself. They gave me confidence, and they accepted me just the way I am. I could finally be authentic. It felt great! I was able to start a business coaching Spiritual Entrepreneurs on Social Media, and I created a pretty awesome guidebook to help those who weren't ready for my one on one coaching just yet. You can get the guidebook here and use code "dreams" for $4 off.
The Miracles just kept presenting themselves as I went on this journey of writing my spiritual memoir, Came to Believe. After talking with my therapist and telling her the news that I didn't win, she asked me, "what else did you get from this process?" I was puzzled at first. Of course being the good therapist she is, said, "healing." Ahhh Yes! And then there is that! I write about some pretty deep childhood trauma in my memoir that I havn't shared much about. I released. I shed layers of shame.
Many of you asked when my book would be out and are eager to support me. Thank you. It means so much to me. I am still writing the book. I have written ten chapters and have about six more to go. When I am finished, I plan to hire an editor (cuz we all know my grammar sucks!) and self-publish through Amazon. You can get on the waitlist here. I am not sure how long this will take. I have so much going on right now with Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training (this will be what the next blog is about) and building my Social Media Coaching and Consulting business. Plus, I think the Universe is telling me there is more to be revealed in my healing journey that must be in the book.
What can I tell you? I am grateful. I am so freaking grateful to all the support I have received. But mostly, for the miracles and being able to see this outcome of not winning in such a positive way, a detour in the right direction. I don't know if I could have done that before. I would have been crying, devastated, eating frozen yogurt while watching re-runs of Vanderpump Rules and Real Housewives. I have made progress. :)